The search for… perfection????

28 08 2008

Well, it seems my first roadblock is my being a perfectionist. Every day since my last post, I have said, “I need to sit down and write something.” I have even sat down, booted the computer and… played mah jong, solitaire, anything to keep from writing. I was thinking about that today. I think my problem is I want it to be perfect.

I read a few blogs regularly and those people always have such great posts. They are concise, well, written and enjoyable. Some go places I wouldn’t go myself, but they interesting. Some I read regularly because they help me understand myself better.

Like the Great Oz said, I need to quit reading about life and starting doing something. I was reading a book last night about job hunting and said to myself, I need to put this down and actually organize my network contact list, like the chapter I am reading says. But, my wife was using the laptop, I didn’t have my list in a convenient place to reorganize and I hadn’t figured out how I wanted it to look yet. So I kept reading. I can talk myself out of just about anything worthwhile. I think the Great Oz knows me pretty well.

So, after my wife was done with the computer tonight, I took the computer to write a couple quick email before bed. I kept saying, “I need to post something.” Well, here I am, tossing something off because I want to make this into a habit and there is no other way besides writing.

I can’t make this perfect. It has to be messy. It has to be a search, and searches are not structured or clean. My first assignment to myself is a free write on passion. A free write is something I picked up in college a few years ago (the second time I went, not the first). The idea is to take the topic, set a timer and put whatever comes to mind on the paper (or keyboard, in this case). Punctuation, spelling and formatting are not important. The goal is to put as many words onto paper as possible. Stream of concious thought is the desire. No editing is allowed after the fact. It is a peek into your mind. That can be scary, if it is an honest free write. Well, tomorrow. That is what I will do. Right after I fix my bike tire, start making a couple pens and perhaps a few games of mah jong. Ouch! I can feel the Great Oz beating me. :-)





Welcome to my search for passion

23 08 2008

I have read and heard many times that if you find your passion and do it, the money will come and time will pass effortlessly. If you make your passion your job, you will love your work. Work your passion and your life will have meaning.

I don’t hate my job. I don’t love it, either. I enjoy parts of it and detest others. What does that make me other than normal? So why should I want more? I make great money. Why should I risk it all for passion?

I was talking about this desire to find my passion with a dear friend we call The Great Oz. She asked me to define passion. Good start. Couldn’t do it. I guess that is the first task – define passion.

There are several definitions for passion, none of which really define it for me. The closest is perhaps, the object of such a fondness or desire. However, this doesn’t adequately describe that for which I am searching. There is something more, something like a defining quest or reason for being involved.

So, that is my search. I hope you will share your ideas and observations on passion. Have you found yours? Is it important to you? Do you think I am tipping at windmills? Come join the ride. Let’s see what we find.